Yesterday I was worried because I didn't feel physically pregnant for the first time since the morning sickness started which was literally the day after we found out we were expecting. It wasn't until this morning that I realized that I may have not felt physically pregnant but I definitely felt emotionally pregnant because I felt like a total nut bag and I still kind of do. I feel detached and lonely and bored.
I had to stop going to school after last semester because I am at the point where I no longer need any prerequisites for the Nursing Program at my school and I can't start the program because I won't be able to take time off for the baby. School was one of the most important things to me. I loved it. I loved how worth while it made me feel and how I always had something to do for ME! That's such an important thing for a person who doesn't know how to do anything for herself and now I am at a stand still. It's frustrating.
I am also having a hard time with feeling left out. This, I know, is a little silly and under my own control but I live in Las Vegas. Quite literally the city that never sleeps. I was never a party girl but I do love little social events but I have been sick all these months and I get very very tired. My husband still participates in such events because of his job and it makes me feel very left out.
As far as feeling detached, well that's just normal pity party emotions. You know the good ol' pregnancy blues: feeling fat, old, and out of touch.
Right now the only thing keeping a smile on my face is hanging out with my little boy... He's pretty funny these days. I know that all of this stuff will pass. It always does but it doesn't make it any more fun. But tomorrow is another day, Right?