I had my 20 week appointment yesterday. Dr. Torres asked me any questions and I replied "nope". I was weighed, had my blood pressure taken, listed to the heart beat and was sent on my way. As I drove in the car on the way home I thought about how different this pregnancy is from my last one.
When I was pregnant with Sage, I was in the perinatologist's office almost every week. I had ultrasounds twice a month, fetal heart monitoring once a week. Every appointment I had they had something new and bothersome to tell me. It wasn't until the very last appointment that they told me that everything looked fine and he would be born with no issues.
Then after I had him they told me I wouldn't be able to have anymore children. I was so upset. Partially,because I wanted to be given the option of being able to give Sage a sibling and partially because I wanted to have a chance at a normal uncomplicated pregnancy. Just to see what it was like to not worry. Just to see what it was like. I wanted to see for myself what it felt like to actually enjoy parts of a pregnancy.
So here I am. I am 20 weeks pregnant. I have had 2 successful ultrasounds free and clear of any growths or issues. Everything it perfect and as a result I am so much calmer. I can actually sit on my couch at night while canoodling my perfect little boy and think about how soon I will have another perfect little someone to canoodle with in a few short months without one ounce of worry. I feel serene and excited. This uncomplicated pregnancy has given me the opportunity to feel actual excitement.
I am not a religious person but I am very spiritual and I feel that God (whomever he or she would be) has truly given me the opportunity to really LIVE life... Good and bad and I feel very fortunate. In fact, maybe it's the hormones but I am overwhelmed with gratitude for everything in my life... Even the bad things because I can say that I have been there and experienced it all and I made it to the other side stronger for it.