I'm thankful everyday and Thanksgiving is the day I explain why :)

     I try and make it a point to be thankful every day. I feel that it's a magical ritual that will maintain all the wonderful things currently in my life. I am in constant awe (especially lately) about how blessed I truly am. I am so in love with my life right now that I despise how fast it seems to be moving and here's a few reasons why.

I love my husband to no end. I feel like every day I learn something new about him and I fall in love with him more and even the hardest days come from a place of honest love. We fight over silly things like spending more time together and if that's the worst thing we can come up with, I'd say we are doing pretty good.

My children... UGH... I adore them. I never in a million year would be able to express just how amazing they are and even more importantly how God (whoever he or she might be) made it so glaringly apparent to me that they were a gift. Miracles as natural and beautiful as it gets. I shouldn't have been physically capable of conceiving either of them and yet here they are and not only was I blessed with two miracle babies but they couldn't be more opposite in the most wonderful of ways so that I will be blessed to experience the full spectrum of a boy's personality.

My Family and friends are wonderful and supportive. Everyone is healthy and happy. Lives are flourishing and families are growing. Tis' a wonderous thing.

I start nursing school in 2 short months which is an absolute dream coming to fruition. I am wonderfully terrified. That is probably the best way I can describe it.

I am happy. That's something to be thankful for!!! Especially in the times we all live in. I feel very fortunate to have happiness.

Inspiring and Enlightening... I had to share.

This is a must read for all you Super Mommies out there!

My Son is Gay... or not, I don't care!

I wrote this comment in response to the blog written above:

    

I officially love you!!! hhaaha! I have two boys. One is too small to make any decisions as of yet but my 2.5 year old wears mommy's shoes and likes to have his nails painted and it means nothing more than a little boy stretching his creative muscle and I love it! I haven't had anyone say anything to me other than the occasional "Are his nails painted?" but I can't wait for the day that another mother questions the humanity of my child. My husband and I are both heavily tattooed so our parenting choices will inevitably come into question some day. Nevermind the fact that I am a network engineer/ Student Nurse and my husband is an accomplished tattoo artist/painter. All people see is what is outside and I would hope that we begin to raise our children differently that what has been done before because as you can tell from today's news and media past efforts are not working! I commend you for your bravery in standing up for what is good and pure in the world! You tell that beautiful little boy of yours that he can come hang out with my kids any day of the week and that I think his costume is amazing and exactly what Halloween is all about! HIGH FIVE!!!

Mark this day in the books as one of my happiest moments.

     I have been officially been accepted into the Spring 2011 semester Nursing Program at CSN!!! I was at work when I got the call and I reacted just as I thought I would, with tears. This has been such a long time coming for me. I started 4 years ago if not longer and had to start and stop twice due to the pregnancies and births of my two beautiful sons. The decision to go back was gut wrenching both times. It took a lot of hard work and dedication on my part and an amazing amount of support and love from my family and friends and getting here is only half the battle.

     On top of feeling elated about the acceptance I also feel good about the fact that I now get to embark on a journey that's solely about and for me. What I mean is, sure it'll benefit my children and family, but doing this is something I have wanted for myself for what seems like a lifetime. I spend so much time doing for others that in the process I find myself not doing things for me and now I have the opportunity to better myself for me and to do something to improve my quality of life on an internal level.

     It's going to be a long hard road but I am fortunate enough to have some of the best family and some of the most devoted friends to help guide me along the way. Plus, knowing a handful of some of Nevada's finest nurses helps too!!!

A few more Day Zero Project items completed.

     So, I had the #53 Wine tasting and everything went as planned. It was a really great experience and now I can't wait to host a dinner party for #45. The great thing is that I invited my old friend Nicole to the wine tasting and when she arrived it was like old times. It was really great to see her. It also means that I fulfilled #91 rekindle an old friendship.

     #23 "Obtain Passports for the family" Was completed a few days ago when we finally received our passports in the mail... All 4 of them! Yay!

     #4 "Try Indian food" was completed last Sunday when Aaron took me out to Origin India. We had a nice romantic date night. My mother-in-law watched the kids while me and Aaron went off on our own for some nice "adult" companionship. After the last few weeks it was a much needed break. Dinner was lovely and the conversation was even better. It's really nice to have an opportunity to re-connect on a non-parental level once and a while.

I am really loving how fun this "Day Zero project" has been so far. It really makes you pay attention to the things in life that we take for granted :)

Negativity.

     Please don't misinterpret my logic for negativity because it's not what you want to hear... I try to keep it real, dawg! Let me educate you on what I feel is negative and the best part is that I can sum it up in 3 words. Are you ready for it?

"IT DOESN'T HELP"

     If it doesn't help then it's negative. For example... me feeling sorry for myself because I'm still a fatty fat fat from being pregnant and complaining about it all the time is NEGATIVITY for the sole reason that it doesn't help at all. It's just complaining. It doesn't get my chunky butt on that treadmill, my positivity does. The idea in my head that if I get on the treadmill I might not want to drown myself in chocolate pudding is nothing short of sheer positive energy because, WHY KIDS.... (Waiting for an answer...) Because it HELPS.

This is a fact that we all know in our heads but when the wave of self pity hits us it is a little difficult to recover. I do it all the time. I have plenty of negative moments. Heck, I am having plenty of them as we speak and maybe this is a mini-pep talk to myself so that I can get my head out of my ass. Ultimately what I am trying to say is that how can you expect it to get any better if you don't come out of that funk long enough to do something about it. Are you waiting around for someone to save you because I have news for you... the only person who can do that for you is YOU!
I can also tell you for an absolute fact that is you sit in self pity and negativity long enough is starts to bleed into everything you are like a fungus or a mold. Taking over every bit of the good person you are or were. You start noticing only the bad in people and events and, sweetheart, you are missing it. You are missing the point and wasting what little time we have on this rock.

     Let it go. All of it. It's not worth it because in the end, it's all stuff. Have love. Love for yourself and others. Have compassion, faith, happiness, glee, laughter, confidence, trust and all things wonderful because everything else is NOT HELPFUL!

(DISCLAIMER: Please don't think that this bloggity is directed at anyone because if you think that then maybe you are NEGATIVE! Hahah.... I'm talking to myself really, if you must know. I've had a lot of things get me down lately that I shouldn't have given the power to do so.)

All you need is Love!

The BIG fight... Another post baby ritual?

    So Aaron and I had a big blow out last night... You know the post-baby / pre-post partum depression fight. The one you have after ever subsequent child as a result of no sleep and colicky cries all day sprinkled with the "Mom! Ma ! MAMA! MOM's" ( or Da Da's if you are one of those) of a toddler . Don't act like you don't know what I am talking about.
     ANYWAY, We had a fight and I wonder if temporary insanity on both sides can be claimed for the things said or the feelings felt. Sure, some of the points worth arguing over are valid but earlier today it was brought to my attention that these things may not bother someone under normal circumstances. As my good pal Sal said, "On any given day the driver going 45 on the highway doesn't bother me but on the day that I am late he's the focus of all my hate." Make's sense right?
     So in response to this enlightening information I am going to be distributing Post-Partum-Argument-Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free-Cards on the Maternity floor of Valley Hospital this weekend.

Not really. But it'd be funny if I did.

...and I am alive!

     I am officially back at work and losing my mind with the amount of guilt that comes with leaving the comforts of home specifically to maintain our insured status. Isn't that ridiculous. I am working for the medical insurance and NOT because we can't afford it but because the insurance I receive is really very good and when I called the insurance company to see how much something comparable would cost an average Joe-sephine they told me "We don't offer that kind of coverage for private insurers". Um, okay... Well then I will be going back to work then.On top of all that, Aaron has reclaimed his position as the world's most functional zombie. This also causes me to feel guilty because I don't want him to struggle.
     This brings up another important question. Is it just me or are women REALLY better equipped to handle domestic chaos? I say this because I am tired and yet I keep moving. I am frustrated and yet I keep smiling (or faking it). I spent almost 3 months on maternity leave and yet only had one or two mental breakdowns that weren't even caused by the new one, it was because my toddler kept saying "Ew!" at everything I would make him and he'd eaten nothing but pudding and Fat-Free Cheez its all day. I just feel like this: Sure, it's more work and Yeah, I can't play with Sage as vigorously (which in itself adds even more guilt) but I would rather spend the day with them than doing anything else in the world! Do we as women have this built in function to handle tiny tots and domestic chaos better than our male counter-parts. OR, is it that as humans when mates are chosen we chose our opposite counter-parts. Kind of like the opposite piece to our humanoid puzzle. I find my husband to be the polar opposite when it comes to preference of domestic jobs. You know ... I do the dishes and laundry and he prefers the floors and outside stuff.

    Am I babbling? ... Hmm must be the Sugar-Free Rockstar.

    My "Day Zero Project" is still going strong I just haven't had a chance to update here yet. We did #26 Go to a Renaissance Festival last weekend. This Friday I am doing #53. Host a wine tasting at my house and last week we submitted our paperwork for #23. Obtain passports for the family.

     Oooh I forgot to mention, we are in the process of switching the boys to cloth diapers. Specifically, BumGenius diapers. I've spent entirely too many mornings changing sheets and I have opened too many diapers that have busted open and leaked weird gelatinous grossness all over the skin of both of my boys. I just happened to have ONE BumGenius diaper from my baby shower and I figured I'd try it out and not only did it keep Archer from leaking but it fits on both my 2.5 year old and my 2.5 month old thanks to the one-size fits all feature! So, now we are in the process of converting over. I don't mind the extra work of washing them at all either because the satisfaction of leak free mornings, saving the amount of waste in landfills coming from my house, and the THOUSANDS of dollars I am saving makes it all worth it!

     In closing, I love all 5 of my readers and I promise to post more regularly :)

Playing Catch-up

I have done a few things that I haven't posted on here yet because I am limited on blogging time with the new little one so I have a few moments to let everyone know of my progress on my Day Zero Project list.

#2. Have dinner at a fancy restaurant.

For Aaron's 33rd birthday we ate at Nove in the Palm Resort and Casino and it was fabulous. I realized that there really is a substantial difference to using great ingredients in a way that it seems to make the food sing. I was impressed and inspired. Aaron ordered the Salmon with eggplant puree and I had the linguini and clams. AMAZING! This also counted towards my #54. Try 10 new restaurants. I can't wait for the next 9.

#64. Buy a pair of TOMS Shoes.

I went with my best friend, Crystal to Nordstrom's and bought a pair. I love them. If you buys a pair buy a size or half size smaller because they stretch. I wouldn't have known that if Crystal hadn't come with, Thank Jeebus. Anyways, the best thing about these shoes is that when you buy a pair, Tom donates a pair to a child who needs shoes! It's also pretty darn cool that they are super comfy too!

#95. Go to the Molto Farmer's Market.

I have actually been twice now and I love it. I was even lucky enough to run into JoNeale while I was there. It's by far the nicest farmer's market I have been to in Las Vegas.

#96. Sew a Baby Wrap.

This one took alot less effort than I thought it would and it came out so good that I have had offers for people to buy them off me. So, YAY to my list for making me some money!! It's extra nice too because I need to pay for school soon.

#63. Sell, donate or get rid of 101 items.
  
          I've gotten rid of 26 items so far.

#35. Write one letter or postcard a month to a friend.

         I sent this months and last months yesterday hahah... One to Sylvia and one to Martha.

#88. Watch 20 documentaries (4/20).

"It Might Get Loud" I enjoyed how artsy fartsy Jack White is but I wasn't really into this one. I think I think my boy bestie, Sal, would like this one because he's really into the guitar.

So YAY!!! My list is alive and kicking and I am so motivated which is exactly what a girl sitting at home all day with 2 kids needs to be! Thanks again, Devon, for the idea!

#88 (2/20 and (3/20) - Watch 20 Documentaries

These came via recommendation from Devon. The first one was "Pressure Cooker" which I really thought was a cool idea. It's about a high school culinary arts teacher who spends the year preparing students for a competition that will hopefully win them scholarships for culinary art school. I wish I had that opportunity in high school. Although, I didn't even know I loved to cook when I was in high school.

I Recommend this one, fully!

The second one I watched was "No Impact Man" which I will admit was entertaining and it would have been really good except I found the idea that he was writing a book MADE OF PAPER after this year of not making an impact about his journey NOT MAKING ANY IMPACT. Hahah. It was still worth the watch. It made me realize that Organic Meat actually SUCKS because they just let sick animals die :( Now I don't know which meat to eat... They should make a "friendly" label... Like we don't treat this animal like shit but we use antibiotics only when they are sick.

#88 (1/20) - Watch 20 documentaries.

So I got a chance to watch my first documentary on my 101 in 1001 list. It was called "No One Dies in Lily Dale". It was actually pretty interesting. It was about this little township in New York that has over 40 registered psychic mediums living there.

#41 - Answer the "50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind"

These questions have no right or wrong answers.

Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

23 on the verge of 50. I think I perpetually feel young at heart but I have always felt a but wiser than my age. So I am young without the urges to act like a total idiot.

2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?

Never trying. I never want to have any substantial “what if” moments. At least with “failing” you can still have that little bit of pride that comes with trying.

3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

I DON’T do anything I don’t like. I know a lot of people who do though. I try to do the things I like but there just isn’t enough resources and time to do it all.

4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

I have said a lot and haven’t done them but I’ve done MOST of what I have said I would do.

5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

I’d change how sensitive people are to the things that don’t matter and how insensitive they are to the things that do.

6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

Being a stay at home mom with a small café on the side that I could bake and cook for.

7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

It’s all a work in process. I am GOING to be doing what I believe in.

8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

I would have travelled from 15-20 and then had kids.

9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

I am merely a woman in a boat and I control whether or not I fall out of it, otherwise I’m just along for the ride. I don’t believe one can control their course just the general direction.

10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

Doing things right! Even the wrong things need to be done right.

11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?

Defend my friend to the teeth if I have to but give those people the option to shut it before I begin laying into them.

12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

Love for yourself is the most important thing in life.

13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

Absolutely. Laws protect the establishment mostly… I would definitely make an exception if it meant saving a loved one.

14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

I’ve never seen insanity. I always see creativity.

15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?

I think differently than most but that’s okay.

16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?

Because they aren’t me.

17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What’s holding you back?

Scuba Diving. FEAR and LOTS of it.

18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

Always. It’s the mountain I have yet to climb but plan to.

19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?

Santa Cruz, California. Because I fell in love with it and the feel of it. It just feels right for my family and that’s most important to me.

20. Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

Nope.

21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

Depends on the day.

22. Why are you, you?

Because I wouldn’t want to be anyone else.

23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

Not always but these are things I am working on.

24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?

Losing touch.

25. What are you most grateful for?

My family is a happy and healthy one.

26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

Oh wow that’s a good one. I don’t know.

27. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?

I guess it would depend on what kind of truth we are talking about. There is absolute truth which you have to challenge and blind truth which is just about having faith.

28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?

No. But it is inevitable. Everyone dies someday.

29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now?

Not at all.

30. What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special?

I think my happiest memories were Christmases because my mom and dad were both home and we spent 2 days together. They both worked and traded off so we didn’t have to have too many babysitters so they were rarely together.

31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

When I am camping with my family in the outdoors.

32. If not now, then when?

Tomorrow

33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

Nothing.

34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

All the time… with my husband.

35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?

Because people are very passionate about their beliefs.

36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?

“Evil” makes “good” amazing.

37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?

Yes. And then work towards getting the job I want. I have to work.

38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?

More work I enjoy doing… Although I enjoy all the work I do now.

39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?

Thankfully, No. Every day feels new to me still.

40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

None of my ideas have a soft glow J They are more like bright flames!

41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

I’d stay with my family.

42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

NOPE

43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

Being “Alive” is just breathing and aware. “Truly living” is using every opportunity you have to experience what life has to offer.

44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

If it is truly “right” then what is the risk? There is only reward.

45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

Because making mistakes are mostly discouraging when looked at from the wrong perspective.

46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

I would have paid more attention to what was important in high school.

47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

Yesterday while holding my newborn son.

48. What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

I love my husband and my two boys more than life will ever allow me to express but I try to show them every day.

49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that?

I don’t remember what I did yesterday NOW. hahah

50. Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

I most definitely make them for myself!

#24 - Bake a "Good Eats" Blueberry Buckle

Aaron got me the "Good Eats" dvd box set and I saw this recipe and thought.... oooh I wanna make that so I threw it on my day zero list and **DRUM ROLL PLEASE** Here it is!!!

I baked this all with Archer in my arms while I juggled oranges and wrote a book. Not really, but that sounded pretty amazing, Right?
Thanks to Devon for inspiring Aaron and I to do this!
Here's Devon's Blog about her journey.
http://pinupchronicles.blogspot.com/

Day Zero - THE LIST

Inspired by my friend Devon to do this and I really do think that this might be the most amazing journey I will have embarked on (www.dayzeroproject.com). The items I have completed will be updated in red and I will try to post pictures and descriptions of my adventures as I go!!!

1.      Visit a winery

2.      Have dinner at a fancy restaurant.

3.      See the Grand Canyon.

4.      Try Indian food.

5.      Go to Hawaii

6.      Finally get chest tattoo removed

7.      Do yoga 1x a week

8.      Paint a painting

9.      Potty train Sage

10.  Knit one garment for myself

11.  Learn more about Greek Mythology

12.  Bake a berry pie from scratch

13.  Read one Jane Austen book.

14.  Get a Tattoo for Sage

15.  Get a Tattoo for Archer

16.  Read to the kids every day

17.  Learn more sweet photoshop skills

18.  Video record 2x a month

19.  Blog 1x a week

20.  Complete Nursing School.

21.  Visit Portland

22.  Weigh 145 lbs. (213)

23.  Obtain a passport so we can travel.

24.  Bake a "Good Eats" Blueberry Buckle

25.  Buy 10 things on Etsy (0/10)

26.  Go to a Renaissance Faire

27.  Go Vegetarian for one week

28.  See if I can grow eyelashes using Latisse

29.  Run 2 miles without stopping

30.  Have a picnic

31.  Donate to a different charity once a month

32.  Go on a Family vacation up the PCH

33.  Go Camping

34.  Rent a cabin in Utah or California

35.  Write one letter/postcard a month to a friend.

36.  Bake a loaf of bread

37.  Bake cupcakes from scratch

38.  Get family photos taken

39.  Learn how to drive 3 on the tree

40.  Pay off Discover card

41.  Answer the "50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind"

42.  Go to a concert

43.  Identify 100 things that makes me happy (0/100)

44.  Influence a person to make a day zero list

45.  Host a dinner party

46.  Clean out my closet

47.  Go a whole day without swearing

48.  Go Fishing

49.  Learn how to make 5 origami items (0/5)

50.  Learn to snowboard

51.  Get 3 services done at a spa in one day

52.  Buy a pair of boots

53.  Host a wine tasting at my house

54.  Go to 10 new restaurants (0/10)

55.  Learn how to make eggs benedict from scratch

56.  Go to a Sunday Brunch

57.  Make a list of 25 things that I like about myself and stick it to my mirror

58.  Write letters to my kids for when they are older

59.  Learn how to make Tamales

60.  Buy my husband a better wedding ring.

61.  Buy an antique tea cup and saucer

62.  Prepare one authentic korean meal

63.  Sell, donate or get rid of 101 items (0/101)

64.  Buy a pair of TOMS shoes

65.  Go Ziplining

66.  Become CPR certified

67.  Make a list of the 50 best moments of my life so far

68.  Go on a Kayaking trip

69.  Make a list of top ten ways to be happy and post it online.

70.  Read a book about buddhism

71.  Read an autobiography

72.  Go on a date with Aaron and let him pick my meal.

73.  Refrain from dyeing my hair black again.

74.  Watch a live surgery

75.  Take the boys to see snow for the first time

76.  Convert 5 NORMAL recipes into Weight Watchers friendly ones (0/5)

77.  Take the boys to the San Diego Zoo

78.  Write 10 e-mails to 10 people telling them the top ten reasons they are great. (0/10)

79.  Teach Sage his colors

80.  Don't access internet for one whole weekend

81.  Go snorkeling

82.  Swim with a sea turtle

83.  Drive a scooter

84.  Go crabbing/fishin in SF with Paul

85.  Buy a lottery ticket

86.  Buy an antique pie dish/pan

87.  Sell 5 things on etsy (0/5)

88.  Watch 20 Documentaries (3/20)

89.  Learn how to say "Thank You" in 10 different languages. (0/10)

90.  Eat Pho with Tony.

91.  Rekindle one old friendship.

92.  Sew a quilt

93.  Go see Lady Gaga in concert

94.  Buy a piece of Art

95.  Go to the Molto Farmer's Market

96.  Sew one new baby wrap

97.  Give one homemade baby wrap away as a gift

98.  Take a picture of Aaron and I once a month.

99.  Bake a chocolate souffle

100.   Write a poem

101.   Submit a piece of writing to be published