I'm thankful everyday and Thanksgiving is the day I explain why :)

     I try and make it a point to be thankful every day. I feel that it's a magical ritual that will maintain all the wonderful things currently in my life. I am in constant awe (especially lately) about how blessed I truly am. I am so in love with my life right now that I despise how fast it seems to be moving and here's a few reasons why.

I love my husband to no end. I feel like every day I learn something new about him and I fall in love with him more and even the hardest days come from a place of honest love. We fight over silly things like spending more time together and if that's the worst thing we can come up with, I'd say we are doing pretty good.

My children... UGH... I adore them. I never in a million year would be able to express just how amazing they are and even more importantly how God (whoever he or she might be) made it so glaringly apparent to me that they were a gift. Miracles as natural and beautiful as it gets. I shouldn't have been physically capable of conceiving either of them and yet here they are and not only was I blessed with two miracle babies but they couldn't be more opposite in the most wonderful of ways so that I will be blessed to experience the full spectrum of a boy's personality.

My Family and friends are wonderful and supportive. Everyone is healthy and happy. Lives are flourishing and families are growing. Tis' a wonderous thing.

I start nursing school in 2 short months which is an absolute dream coming to fruition. I am wonderfully terrified. That is probably the best way I can describe it.

I am happy. That's something to be thankful for!!! Especially in the times we all live in. I feel very fortunate to have happiness.

Inspiring and Enlightening... I had to share.

This is a must read for all you Super Mommies out there!

My Son is Gay... or not, I don't care!

I wrote this comment in response to the blog written above:

    

I officially love you!!! hhaaha! I have two boys. One is too small to make any decisions as of yet but my 2.5 year old wears mommy's shoes and likes to have his nails painted and it means nothing more than a little boy stretching his creative muscle and I love it! I haven't had anyone say anything to me other than the occasional "Are his nails painted?" but I can't wait for the day that another mother questions the humanity of my child. My husband and I are both heavily tattooed so our parenting choices will inevitably come into question some day. Nevermind the fact that I am a network engineer/ Student Nurse and my husband is an accomplished tattoo artist/painter. All people see is what is outside and I would hope that we begin to raise our children differently that what has been done before because as you can tell from today's news and media past efforts are not working! I commend you for your bravery in standing up for what is good and pure in the world! You tell that beautiful little boy of yours that he can come hang out with my kids any day of the week and that I think his costume is amazing and exactly what Halloween is all about! HIGH FIVE!!!

Mark this day in the books as one of my happiest moments.

     I have been officially been accepted into the Spring 2011 semester Nursing Program at CSN!!! I was at work when I got the call and I reacted just as I thought I would, with tears. This has been such a long time coming for me. I started 4 years ago if not longer and had to start and stop twice due to the pregnancies and births of my two beautiful sons. The decision to go back was gut wrenching both times. It took a lot of hard work and dedication on my part and an amazing amount of support and love from my family and friends and getting here is only half the battle.

     On top of feeling elated about the acceptance I also feel good about the fact that I now get to embark on a journey that's solely about and for me. What I mean is, sure it'll benefit my children and family, but doing this is something I have wanted for myself for what seems like a lifetime. I spend so much time doing for others that in the process I find myself not doing things for me and now I have the opportunity to better myself for me and to do something to improve my quality of life on an internal level.

     It's going to be a long hard road but I am fortunate enough to have some of the best family and some of the most devoted friends to help guide me along the way. Plus, knowing a handful of some of Nevada's finest nurses helps too!!!

A few more Day Zero Project items completed.

     So, I had the #53 Wine tasting and everything went as planned. It was a really great experience and now I can't wait to host a dinner party for #45. The great thing is that I invited my old friend Nicole to the wine tasting and when she arrived it was like old times. It was really great to see her. It also means that I fulfilled #91 rekindle an old friendship.

     #23 "Obtain Passports for the family" Was completed a few days ago when we finally received our passports in the mail... All 4 of them! Yay!

     #4 "Try Indian food" was completed last Sunday when Aaron took me out to Origin India. We had a nice romantic date night. My mother-in-law watched the kids while me and Aaron went off on our own for some nice "adult" companionship. After the last few weeks it was a much needed break. Dinner was lovely and the conversation was even better. It's really nice to have an opportunity to re-connect on a non-parental level once and a while.

I am really loving how fun this "Day Zero project" has been so far. It really makes you pay attention to the things in life that we take for granted :)

Negativity.

     Please don't misinterpret my logic for negativity because it's not what you want to hear... I try to keep it real, dawg! Let me educate you on what I feel is negative and the best part is that I can sum it up in 3 words. Are you ready for it?

"IT DOESN'T HELP"

     If it doesn't help then it's negative. For example... me feeling sorry for myself because I'm still a fatty fat fat from being pregnant and complaining about it all the time is NEGATIVITY for the sole reason that it doesn't help at all. It's just complaining. It doesn't get my chunky butt on that treadmill, my positivity does. The idea in my head that if I get on the treadmill I might not want to drown myself in chocolate pudding is nothing short of sheer positive energy because, WHY KIDS.... (Waiting for an answer...) Because it HELPS.

This is a fact that we all know in our heads but when the wave of self pity hits us it is a little difficult to recover. I do it all the time. I have plenty of negative moments. Heck, I am having plenty of them as we speak and maybe this is a mini-pep talk to myself so that I can get my head out of my ass. Ultimately what I am trying to say is that how can you expect it to get any better if you don't come out of that funk long enough to do something about it. Are you waiting around for someone to save you because I have news for you... the only person who can do that for you is YOU!
I can also tell you for an absolute fact that is you sit in self pity and negativity long enough is starts to bleed into everything you are like a fungus or a mold. Taking over every bit of the good person you are or were. You start noticing only the bad in people and events and, sweetheart, you are missing it. You are missing the point and wasting what little time we have on this rock.

     Let it go. All of it. It's not worth it because in the end, it's all stuff. Have love. Love for yourself and others. Have compassion, faith, happiness, glee, laughter, confidence, trust and all things wonderful because everything else is NOT HELPFUL!

(DISCLAIMER: Please don't think that this bloggity is directed at anyone because if you think that then maybe you are NEGATIVE! Hahah.... I'm talking to myself really, if you must know. I've had a lot of things get me down lately that I shouldn't have given the power to do so.)

All you need is Love!

The BIG fight... Another post baby ritual?

    So Aaron and I had a big blow out last night... You know the post-baby / pre-post partum depression fight. The one you have after ever subsequent child as a result of no sleep and colicky cries all day sprinkled with the "Mom! Ma ! MAMA! MOM's" ( or Da Da's if you are one of those) of a toddler . Don't act like you don't know what I am talking about.
     ANYWAY, We had a fight and I wonder if temporary insanity on both sides can be claimed for the things said or the feelings felt. Sure, some of the points worth arguing over are valid but earlier today it was brought to my attention that these things may not bother someone under normal circumstances. As my good pal Sal said, "On any given day the driver going 45 on the highway doesn't bother me but on the day that I am late he's the focus of all my hate." Make's sense right?
     So in response to this enlightening information I am going to be distributing Post-Partum-Argument-Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free-Cards on the Maternity floor of Valley Hospital this weekend.

Not really. But it'd be funny if I did.

...and I am alive!

     I am officially back at work and losing my mind with the amount of guilt that comes with leaving the comforts of home specifically to maintain our insured status. Isn't that ridiculous. I am working for the medical insurance and NOT because we can't afford it but because the insurance I receive is really very good and when I called the insurance company to see how much something comparable would cost an average Joe-sephine they told me "We don't offer that kind of coverage for private insurers". Um, okay... Well then I will be going back to work then.On top of all that, Aaron has reclaimed his position as the world's most functional zombie. This also causes me to feel guilty because I don't want him to struggle.
     This brings up another important question. Is it just me or are women REALLY better equipped to handle domestic chaos? I say this because I am tired and yet I keep moving. I am frustrated and yet I keep smiling (or faking it). I spent almost 3 months on maternity leave and yet only had one or two mental breakdowns that weren't even caused by the new one, it was because my toddler kept saying "Ew!" at everything I would make him and he'd eaten nothing but pudding and Fat-Free Cheez its all day. I just feel like this: Sure, it's more work and Yeah, I can't play with Sage as vigorously (which in itself adds even more guilt) but I would rather spend the day with them than doing anything else in the world! Do we as women have this built in function to handle tiny tots and domestic chaos better than our male counter-parts. OR, is it that as humans when mates are chosen we chose our opposite counter-parts. Kind of like the opposite piece to our humanoid puzzle. I find my husband to be the polar opposite when it comes to preference of domestic jobs. You know ... I do the dishes and laundry and he prefers the floors and outside stuff.

    Am I babbling? ... Hmm must be the Sugar-Free Rockstar.

    My "Day Zero Project" is still going strong I just haven't had a chance to update here yet. We did #26 Go to a Renaissance Festival last weekend. This Friday I am doing #53. Host a wine tasting at my house and last week we submitted our paperwork for #23. Obtain passports for the family.

     Oooh I forgot to mention, we are in the process of switching the boys to cloth diapers. Specifically, BumGenius diapers. I've spent entirely too many mornings changing sheets and I have opened too many diapers that have busted open and leaked weird gelatinous grossness all over the skin of both of my boys. I just happened to have ONE BumGenius diaper from my baby shower and I figured I'd try it out and not only did it keep Archer from leaking but it fits on both my 2.5 year old and my 2.5 month old thanks to the one-size fits all feature! So, now we are in the process of converting over. I don't mind the extra work of washing them at all either because the satisfaction of leak free mornings, saving the amount of waste in landfills coming from my house, and the THOUSANDS of dollars I am saving makes it all worth it!

     In closing, I love all 5 of my readers and I promise to post more regularly :)